Want to become more attractive? SMILE more. That’s right, just smile more. We discussed how improving posture can make you more attractive, but smiling may be the easiest way to make yourself more appealing
What a Smile Reveals
A smile suggests that you are outgoing, confident, successful, and intelligent – that you are a person others should want to know. A smile indicates that you are willing to open up and reveal a part of yourself. It is disarming. It makes those around you more comfortable.
Smiling people convey a positive outlook, tend to cope with challenges better, and tend to be more open and flexible. We naturally like being around people who smile.
Smiling may be the most powerful non-verbal form of communication. An apology with a smile is more effective than just an apology. A smile can brighten another’s day. That’s powerful when you think about it.
We are more likely to feel like we know someone who smiles. And, those with smiling faces are more likely to be remembered according to this study. So if you want people to remember you, smile more.
For some smiling is natural and for some smiling is not so natural. But, for all of us smiling is something that can be improved. Improve your smile and you will likely see people respond to you more positively. We receive what we give. Give more smiles.
Types of Smiles
There are five main types of smiles. The discussion above pertains to the genuine smile or what is known as the Duchenne smile. But, there are more than genuine smiles of happiness. Can you spot a fake smile?
- Duchenne smile
- Fake smile
- Uncomfortable smile
- Seductive smile
- Sarcastic smile
The Duchenne smile indicates true happiness. The Duchenne smile involves both the lips and eyes (contrary to the fake smile). The corner of lips are turned up and the eyes narrow causing crow’s feet. And, you thought crow’s feet were undesirable, right? Be careful with too much Botox. You don’t want your smile to look fake, do you?
The Fake smile lacks involvement of the eyes. Most of us have faked a smile for the camera. We hear “cheese” and plaster on a smile. If you want to study fake smiles we suggest you take a close look at politicians – they are masters of the fake smile.
The Uncomfortable smile frequently occurs when we see or hear something inappropriate but try to be polite by slightly smiling to cover up are true thoughts.
The Seductive smile is a more subtle smile with direct eye contact and then holding the smile while looking away. Many times it is accompanied by another gesture like a head tilt, twirling of the hair, or playing with an earring.
The Sarcastic smile involves a disconnect between the lips and the eyes. The lips will be upturned while the eyes show a look of disapproval or disdain. A sarcastic smile sometimes is asymmetric or crooked.
When it comes to the smile the eyes frequently reveal the meaning of the smile. Yes, the eyes are the gateway to the soul. Pay attention to the eyes.
Smiles of Men and Women
Who smiles more. Men or women? Have your answer?
WOMEN smile more. When I first learned this I tried to explain it to myself and thought, “Well maybe, just maybe, women smile more than men because men do a better job of keeping women happy than the other way around.” But, something tells me that probably is not correct.
However, it turns out women only smile more in certain situations. Women smile more than men when they know they are being observed and when in social situations. Why that is, isn’t exactly clear. Perhaps, they want to draw attention to themselves. Just a thought. If so, they have learned the power of the smile. They know that smiling works.
Men tend to misinterpret the smiles of women, frequently taking an uncomfortable smile for a seductive smile. That probably does not turn out well in the end, we imagine. Here is our advice for men. Just don’t say anything that might be construed as inappropriate in front of women. Then you can be more certain that a smile flashed your way is not the uncomfortable or sarcastic type.
Of course, in our overly sensitive and politically correct society, it is becoming increasingly challenging to know what to say or do that isn’t going to offend someone. Make sure you know your “audience” before speaking is our best advice.
The Smile Versus the Wink
The smile is one way to communicate, but intent of a smile can be misinterpreted. Does anyone really know what the Mona Lisa is conveying with her smile?
To avoid miscommunication when it comes to nonverbal cues, we still prefer the wink. There is less room to misinterpret a wink. The wink is almost always positively delivered and almost universally positively received. We have never heard of a sarcastic or uncomfortable wink. Have you? And, have you ever not liked receiving a wink?
The worse you might get is, “I wasn’t winking. I had something in my eye. Now leave me alone.” And, if that were to happen, you did not misinterpret the wink, because it really wasn’t a wink. Such an occurrence would be a misunderstanding. Not a misinterpretation. Are you with me?
Guess what is better than a smile or a wink? A wink with a Duchenne smile.
Back to the smile.
Improve Your Smile
Are you ready to be viewed as more outgoing, confident, successful, and charming? Are you ready to be more attractive? Practice smiling more. There are several videos on YouTube that will show you exercises to naturally improve your smile. Like anything else a little practice every day will go a long to improving your smile. Getting yourself in a positive mindset makes smiling easier. So stay positive and think positive thoughts. Think of funny situations when asked to smile for the camera if you are not a natural smiler.
Practice makes perfect! Smile more and the more you will want to smile. And, the more natural your smile will become.